What Am I Doing Wrong?

Two odd events over the last couple weeks. Let's investigate.

#1 - Heavy Atlanta freeway traffic. Truck to my right is hovering...and hovering. Reminds me of that tow truck that was hovering some months back. Any commonality? OH - The split front jeans skirt. Look down - Sure 'nuf....In all the on the clutch/off the clutch, skirt has scooched up to the hoohoo. Or almost the hoohoo....Really just the fat of my thighs meeting. Can that really be that attractive? Guess the suspense of what comes next is just too good. And the dude has the balls to smile, honk, wave, and turn his head completely backward when I fall behind him. Whatever - Hope he at least got a good monkey spank out of it.

#2 - Out for drinks with coworkers...Turns into a big night. Normal bars close...What to do? Head to those that are open, of course. Those that are open = Nakey-butt bars. (From here on out referred to as nb bars.) So - We all know chicks in nb bars are targets, right? And the female friend with me is just too hot and flaunts her kick-your-ass potential too much for even a stripper to go for her. I become said target. Skank approaches & kneels behind me. "You're so beautiful..Blahdeblah." Yeahyeah - Not thinking a lot about it. Hold the phone! (The next scene takes place in approximately 15 seconds.) - What's this? Is that her hand going down my shirt? Her hand is on my boob! She just tweaked my nipple! Cannot say it felt bad....But the girls prefer boy attention.

So - Truckers and strippers. Is this why I am single? Am I concentrating on the wrong demographic? Are "single, nice looking, professional, witty, 40ish men" THAT off base? I guess so. Truckers and strippers.

Sigh.....

Next go round I'll bring out the brainiac. Considering a brain dump on agnosticism...The lazy man's decision.