Random Conversations In My Head

R - Good god this ear ache hurts...Surely to god it and that incessant dog whistle will be gone soon.
T - Doctor? I don't need no stinkin' doctor!!
R - Good god this ear ache hurts.....Doctor will surely take me in today.
Dr's Office - We're sorry, Ms T. Two days.
T - TWO DAYS?!?!?
T - OK - Two days...Let's tough this out. Go to pharmicist. Pharmicst - Sorry ma'am...You've done all you can do without antibiotics. R - But antibiotics are TWO DAYS away!! Please, help!! Please, Please!!!
R - Tough it out. Ibuprophen....Sudafed Sinus...Some odd Homeopathic Eardrops. Good to go.
R - GOOD GOD THIS HURTS!! Please, my darlin sister, please call your best friend the Pharmicist. Dad Gummit!!!! Not home! Please....Let this hell stop. Jack Kervorkian?!?!?
T - Shuddup...Doesn't hurt...Not sick.
R- This f-in HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
T - Shuddup...Doesn't hurt.
R - Sweet Jesus Christ...Let this hell end. I'm a virgin, never smoked pot, never did coke...Please, let this hell end. OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!
T - Pretty sure I'm giving birth through my aural canal....................
T - Is that a eustation tube in your pocket/on the floor - or are you happy to see me???