May I Please Get Off This Rollercoaster Now??

The emotional one, that is.

One week til Nemo's departure. I have good days and scary days now. Monday was scary. Tuesday was good.

Wednesday was one of the best ever. We celebrated with a Goodbye Nemo Happy Hour. All those people showed up just to support me. And best of all? My best chica ever, Pattygal, the one who does not like surprises nor to surprise?....Showed up all the way from Texas to surprise me. And surprise me she did. (Well - Not all that much after I think about it. Cause it is just how she is.) So we had a great night and I laughed and smiled and felt ever so loved and supported.

Today was a scary day again. I think I experienced a full on anxiety attack. With no instigation or triggering event whatsoever. Just doing fine.....fine......fine.....fine....and WHAM. Not fine...Not fine at all. It started in my stomach clenching, then moved on to sitting on the bed and just crying, then moved onto dry heaves. The whole event lasted maybe 15 minutes. And God bless B. He was there to talk me through it. And tell me it was ok to cry. And that contrary to what I was thinking....Crazy isn't being scared....Crazy would be not being scared.

I honestly feel very sorry for people with chronic depression, or chronic anxiety attacks, or some other kind of uncontrollable mental problem. Because to feel like I felt in those 15 minutes for 24 hours a day?....Would be a living hell.

One week from just about now, this should all be over. I probably won't remember most of Thursday. But I sure as hell am looking forward to next Friday. When I can wake up and know that Nemo is just a really good movie....Not something inside my head.