Karma Flyin' All Over That Plane

One bene I get at work is standby travel (for the next few months at least). What that means is: I pay a very small surcharge, and hang out...Seeing if there are one or two seats left that I can put my butt in. If not? I try tne next flight. Has worked really well for the last 15 years. Can't complain.

So a couple of weekends ago, I make it on the flight to home. Just barely miss first class, but we don't care so much....Coach aisle seat is fine. I'm seated in 13D. So about 4 rows back into coach on the aisle. Reading Delta Sky. And my book. Settling in. Plane pushes back and I buckle up. And we're going up. And - I realize. I have my sweater on inside-out. Black sweater with white tag sticking out the back. Not really anything else obvious to point out the inside-out-ness. So, I do some practices. See if I can pull my sweater up far enough to my neck and hang my hair down far enough to hide it all.

Do a mental assessment of the plane. Best choice seems to be to go for the front lavatory. Fewest observers possible. So - DING! Bell goes off. Scruffy guy in Nascar cap, multiple piercings and tattoos, and red, sticky outty beard makes it to the front lav before me. I'm next in line and making my way toward the front. When flitty, black, male flight attendant stops me and says "OH NO!". Me with puzzled look on my face. "OH NO!" ????? "You can't go up THERE! Our first class guests would complain!!" Through gritted teeth I say "Do I HAVE To??" (Hoping he'll think it is some dire emergency...Which it IS.) "OH NO. You Must Go To The Back!"

OOOOOOOkkkkkkkkkk. Stompy footed me says. On the way to the back lav, I realize: This is really the better option. Everyone sees my front, which pretty much looks normal. No back with the obvious white tag. Get to back lav, turn shirt right-side-out and head back to seat. Still a little pissed that Flitty didn't let me in the front lav.

I let the drink and snack carts go ahead of me...Thinking they'll start at the first coach row (ahead of me) and go back. But oooooooooh nooooooooo. They start at Row 14. ONE behind me. Meaning I have to scootch past them in and out of aisles, them being ever so annoyed. AND it means Flitty will be serving First Class AND the first 4 rows of coach. MEANING - I get my ONE glass of wine (my one luxury when flying) LAST. DEAD LAST. So I wait. And wait. And wait. And Flitty thinks he's ever so clever. Not the normal two drinks delivered for him. NOOOOOOO. He must take about SIX drink orders and then deliver them on a tray. I'm watching him doing this up in First Class. He waits on his laaaaaaaaaast First Class passenger with about 3 drinks on his tray. And YEP! Dumps them all over said passenger. ALL OVER HIM. Luckily - He had on a leather coat. So he can just kind of wipe it off. But, I swear. No formal apologies. No offers for dry cleaning. Maybe two towels out of the lavatory. But NOTHING overly formal or offeratory. THERE'S KARMA FOR YA FLITTY! Let me pee in First Class next time!

So -- On with the Karma thing. Now I feel bad that I've felt good about Flitty's mistake. So, I decide to take it all back mentally. I don't feel good. His disaster isnt' my joy. But I'm STILL waiting for that glass of wine. Which comes. And it is a FULL, FULL glass. One of those plastic cups filled up to the top. Flit says: "We didn't have any of those little bottles in first. I had to pour out of the full bottle. So I can't charge you for it. It's free." KARMA right back at me!

The Karma Rocket was just flying all over that plane. And kept landing at me. Kind of a Pay It Forward moment..........