It Was A Really Good Run

I had to do it.

I had to say goodbye to my little friend, Maggie tonight.

It sucked ass. I gave her her nightly pills and it stressed her out more than usual. At first, I thought she was just pissed off at me. She hopped down and wouldn't drink anything and was giving me the evil eye.

Then I noticed she wasn't breathing right. Then she ran upstairs. I followed and realized things were very wrong.

Her breathing was very labored. Then when I picked her up, she was a noodle. Then I saw her little tongue sticking out as she was trying to breathe. Then she started vomiting.

I ran downstairs for the phone to call B - Who said she was on her way over. We'd go to the emergency vet.

When I got back upstairs she had pooped on my bed. This doesn't happen. This means Maggie's dignity has been compromised.

Then I went to take her downstairs to her crate, and she peed on me. Then she struggled as I tried to take her downstairs. My right arm and left boob are decimated.

I got her into her crate and then called Mom. I was way more of a mess than I ever expected I'd be. Sweating, hyperventalating, and sobbing sobbing sobbing. She just told me she was sorry - It wasn't my fault - It would be ok - I'd do what I had to do.

Little Poops was still in the crate. She couldn't stop vomiting. Her little feet were covered with vomit. She would keep her head up for about a minute at a time. She was just having such a hard time breathing.

I already knew.

When B got here - I told her I was going to have to let her go.

We got to the vet. They took her right in. He said they could 'treat her'. I just shook my head. I can't do this over and over. I have to give her pills everyday and everyday might freak her out. I would risk one of these freak outs every single day. And my cat might have to go through this over and over and over again.

I'm rambling. Bottom line is - Maggie is gone. She's in a good kitty place now. I'm sad. I've already missed her running up and down the stairs with me. When I pat my hand on the bed, there will be no one to jump up.

I'm keeping her Bob Toy. I think I may sleep with him tonight.