Hey Baby!

Friend, L, told me the most hysterical story today.

She's recently moved into a new neighborhood. And as 'non-Martha Stewart' as she is, she's enjoying yard work. Well - pretty, blooming flowers mostly.

Neighbors across the street are some version of Asian. I know it sounds un-pc, but how to you discern which? And they speak very little English.

But- They like to be social. So when L is out in the yard working with the flowers Grandmother, Mother, and Baby often come into the yard for a visit. Communication is difficult - obviously. They take the baby's hand and wave it at L and say "Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey Baby!"

Then they wander around the yard, poking at plants, jabbering to each other - As L stands and smiles and nods and shuffles around umcomfortably. They stay for a little too long. L doesn't know how to get rid of them. But finally settles on "Bye Baby!" And they slowly back off backwards back across the street. Nodding, nodding, nodding.

Some of L's flowers are suffering and drying up. Neighbors'flowers are beautiful and word has it the back yard garden is beautiful. L makes a few attempts at conversation: L - "My flowers are dying. Yours are beautiful. What are you doing??" Ns - "Yeeeeeeeees." (Head nod, Head nod.) - OR - L - "I hear you have a beautiful back garden. Could you show it to me sometime?" Ns - "Yeeeeeeeeeees" (Head nod, Head nod. But no invitation to the back yard.)

Then L tells me. It all started with friend, Lola. Lola mows L's yard. I know you'll ask why. But Lola is just that nice. She likes to do it, and wants to do it, and does it. It seems Neighbors would come out of the house when Lola was mowing and they'd have the baby. They'd wave to Lola, and Lola would say to the baby "Hey Baby!"

Then L says: And they call Lola "Baby" now. They'll say "Hey Baby!!" Every time the see her. Even multiple times a day.

Me --- Ummmmmmmmmm, L? I'm just thinking.....THEY HAVE NO FREAKIN IDEA WHAT THEY ARE SAYING! It has nothing to do with the baby! They learned from Lola that "Hey Baby" is a greeting! They think they're saying: Hello, Neighbor - or Friend - or You. Hey Baby is just a greeting to them!

L -- Oh my GOSH. You're right! -- I have GOT to tell Lola she is teaching them ALL WRONG!

(I've just realized this is funnier verbally than in writing. Sorry - Guess you had to be there.)