I Do Miss Him

Today K asked me if I or Pattygal talk to Peez. And, alas, we do not. (Unless Pattygal has been withholding...Which I think not.)

And, I've not. Which makes me sad.

Peez was an integral part of my life at one point. THE integral part, I'd say. My person. He just was. He was IT. I wish i could illustrate to you...But I cannot.

Guess his wife did not agree so much. Nor his upcoming child support payments. Nor the separation from his child. (Which I really do empathize/sympathize/think I understand.) I get it...He had to...Kid won....Kid should.

But I DO miss. Miss BIG. And wish for that smile as I walk in the door, that "Hello, Pretty Girl!" when I get back from the hair salon, that random squeeze in the middle of the night...Those things that come with 'your person'.

I fear he was 'it'. And that my person has come and gone. I hope not. And I've not given in. But what if, at this age - My person is equally unavailable? That is SO likely.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahwhahwhah for me.

I'm so lucky to still have my life. And to be so independent. And to be available but looking. And to still be looking for what I want. And to still know that. And to not have the need for a baby (as much as I'd have loved one) skewing that.

So, Trix, look at that part. And be happy. Cause you are.

(Wow - I don't like re-reading this one. Pretty much past the epidermis. 'Scuse me as I grab some Kleenex...)