Welcome to Meltdown Central

It seems to becoming a pattern. Almost daily now. The evening meltdown occurs. Complete with sniffing and uncontrollably drippy nose.

Tonight I was talking to Mom. We went through a couple of ugly subjects. Like the fact that big brother, S, just won't talk about bad stuff. And one of those bad stuffs is that best friend of our entire family, I, has just been diagnosed with Alzeheimers. OK - She's 85. But to us she was invincible and never going to be taken down. The fact she might stuns each of us like a deer in headlights.

Then we started talking about hospitalization and surgery. Mom said something about the orders and directives you have to make. Very quitely I said, "Mom, you know we have to talk about that." She went on to the next topic. I stopped her. "Mom, did you hear me? We have to talk about that." Mom - "Oh....Yes we do. You need a Visible Power of Attorney and a DNR and a blah and a blah." Me - "Friend, M, is an attorney. Would you like me to ask him to help and what we should do?" Her - "Yes, please do that."

Next - "Mom - P has said she'd like Maggie for Soaps. Is that ok with you?" Puzzelement. "If she needs to go somewhere for a while?" Me - "No Mom, forever." DEAFENING silence. "THAT WON'T HAPPEN." "No - It won't....But if it does, Maggie is going to live with Soaps - OK?" Mom - "Yes...OK - Soaps. But that won't happen."

Then we talked about how friend, K, is going with me to next dr's appt. And how I have SO many people that love me. I started naming for her. B, B, and B, L, K, A and husband G kids E and E, L, R, P G & S, K, S N L H & S...And the alphabet soup that just continues? Ever so wise mom of all moms says "Yep - That is how God takes care of you. He makes sure you know how to love...So all those people can give you love back." She's a poet, no?

I-love-yous were exchanged. And we got of the phone.

That's when the water works began. But ya know? As I said to A the other day? IT IS SO OK TO CRY! Tears heal.

(And a special God Bless You To A - Whose angel she sent says a special "Protect This Woman". A - I've carried it every second since. God sent you to help protect me, you know?)