You Can Leave Your Hat On

I had my follow up MRI today. And the "receptionist" at the MRI counter was the exact same as last time. The ""s are because the sexist me cannot quite bring myself to call that guy a receptionist.

Good looking guy. In the office alone. No one else within shouting distance. You'd think a human would be a welcome site. Me - "Good morning!"

But, instead. I get the: "Hey - Sign in. Fill out the form. Don't skip any steps. Then sign here....Turn back one page and sign here."

Great! OK! Hey - Is it ok that I wore my contacts? (Obviously, questions outside the script are not to be asked.) Is it ok that I wore my contacts?...I can't remember.... Gruff sigh -- "Yeah. Whatever. Sign."

Okkkkkkkkkey Dokey. So I fill out, skip no steps, and sign. Dutifuly hand my clipboard back to Mr Personality.

He - "You ready?"

Me - "Sure!!"

He leads be back to through the admittance area, to the "Female Locker Room", and proceeds to give me the instructions. Exact same instructions as last time...And I'm sure the bazillionteenth he's spit out this month, 40th for this day.

"Here's your gown. Your arms go in like this. This part wraps back over you. Lock the locker with any four numbers then the lock. Unlock the same way. Take everything off. Glasses, watches, jewelry. Oh --- And you can leave your panties on."

At which point...I want to double over in piss my pants laughter!! Is this really this man's soul job? To remind about the panties? Does he feel the littlest bit strange delivering his Kramer-esque speech and ending it in PANTIES? Um - What if I don't have any on? And - How do I get this job as panty reminder?

Then I wonder, as I lay in the MRI tube, why Joe Cocker's "You Can Leave Your Hat On" is implanted in my mind................