Cex For One

Spamminator named Dallas Cumming today felt it necessary to remind me today that:

Fw: Cex is better enjoyed with another person.

LIKE I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT, DALLAS?

Thank you a whole helluva lot for rubbing it in! Via Spam of all things! Gawddamn you.

Four Letter Woman

Was listening to the "Light FM" station on my way home tonight. No - It isn't a standard. But it is in the rotation. Doesn't get one of my permanent spots. But it is there as I do the search. So I hear an oldie, but just ok-ey...And it brings on a whole new list.

"I Thought They Were Saying....."

• The BeeGees - "Four Letter Woman" = "More Than A Woman". Although I can think of a few four letter woman words...And a few four letter women who fit into them.
• Dire Straights - "Sultans of Suede" = "Sultans of Swing". I thought it was all about the fine suede jackets and boots.
• American History - "By The Donzerly Light" = "By The Dawn's Early Light". My brother was never sure what the adjective 'donzerly' meant.
• Fleetwood Mac - "Don't Stop Thinking About Yer Mama" = "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow". My friend, Tom, was seriously disturbed about his Mama.

There have to be a bazillion....Let's keep it up!

It's Not Unusual To Be Loved By Anyone

(Please note prior to reading. Chastain is a lovely outside amphitheatre where you can take your own picnic and booze...Making almost any concert - maybe even Shania Twain - a joy to behold.)

Trix: ok -- at chastain this summer????
Trix: TOM JONES!!!
Trix: how FUNNY would that be????????
B: is he by himself?
Trix: special guest - tower of power
Trix: i don't know if that is referring to what is in his pants or not

We Made It To P

Yeah - Pattygal and I were discussing vomit for the bazillionteenth time in the past 24 hours...And I remembered one of my all time great puke stories. Because, compared to other bodily functions like poop, vomit just doesn't get a fair amount of airtime.

I'm a puker...Just am...Always have been. My mom says I came out of the womb that way -- Hurled on anyone that touched me as an infant. So during the heavy drinking and partying years, puking was pretty much a way of life. I can remember my very last alcohol induced puke like it was yesterday. (Well - A few of the details are fuzzy at best...But I've got the gist of it.)

Probably 10 years ago....Was hanging with old pal, D, in her big ass townhome that she shared with about 4-5 other people. Early in the evening I had a Starbuck's Frappacino....I swear it had something to do with the outcome. (Pun intended.) And I've not had one since. Back at D's, it is just D, me, and Pete - The librarian who lived in the closet and didn't drink at all and rarely talked much and had an outrageous crush on me.

So D and I start with two of the mega bottles of wine. One of her roommates had a CD player that held about 100 CDs. We started a game where we listened to one song or artist per letter of the alphabet. And we just kept drinking. The wine ran out...So we moved on to whatever beer there was in the fridge. And there was a lot.

At some point, I tell D "I am putting myself to bed." And D and I were the kind of friends that thought nothing of sharing a bed. So I go up to D's room, borrow a t-shirt, and put myself in for the night. I distinctly remember D screaming up the stairs, "Trix -- Your sister's song is on!!!" It was PearlJam's Can't Find A Better Man. That means we were on the Ps...Not the C's. So, obviously, the evening had been going a while.

Soon, D gives in too and is in bed beside me. Things go downhill from here.

Trix --- "Whoa...I'm gonna puke."
D -- "Whoa....Me too."

D takes the bathroom a floor down...I take the one next door. We simultaneously hurl, clean up, and make it back to bed at the same time.

A few minutes later:

Trix - "Whoa....Gonna puke again."
D -- "Whoa....Me too."

(Things get blurry here.)

D goes to her bathroom...Me back to mine. I remember lotsa matter lotsa places. But I also distinctly remember doing an excellent job of cleaning up. Head back to the bedroom...And just calmly put myself back to bed.....Or so I think. D makes it back a few moments later.

The next morning, daylight rudely awakes us.

Trix -- "Ummmmmm.....D? Any ideas on why I am naked?"
D -- "Ummmm.....No idea. But why are there no sheets? We're sleeping on the mattress."

We painfully and groggily raise our heads to scan the room. And there, in the corner, ever so neatly placed, is a wadded up pile of sheets and the clothes I'd borrowed from D.

Yeah...So I hadn't quite made it out of bed in time. BUT -- I had the good sense to strip the bed, strip me, form a nice little bundle, and throw it in the corner so a drunken D could get back in bed none the wiser.

Damn Starbuck's and their Frappacino's!!!

Angelina Keeps Cropping Up -- I'm Worried

It is my lips this time. I've misplace my Burt's Bees Lip Tint...Which is THE BEST. And have had to resort to the Aveda Lip Stick. Which makes my lips swell up like Angelina's. It looks good. But it feels odd. I have this tingly, pouty thing going on.

To ease the weird, dry effect I apply, apply, apply L'Occitane. Which has the consistency of olive oil. Again, making Angelina lips.

Makes me wish Aveda had a product for all-over-Angelina. I'd bathe in it. Make my bod look like hers? I'd live with some tingles and olive oil.

But it brought up the skanky vs sexy thing with Pattygal. (We share everything....You already know.) She thinks Angelina is skanky...I think she is sexy. We'd appreciate your vote. Which also brought us to the fact that girls can think of girls - 'that way'. Cause it is not forbidden and it is so ok for us to admit which ones are hot. Not that we want to do them or that there is any basis in reality. Just that they're hot. Poor boys...They, alas, cannot without being gay.

So my list continued:

• Pink
• JLo (yeah, I know)

Just two. Not too lesbo. Lemme see on more boys:

• Brad, of course
• Matthew Perry (I've always had a fantasy I'll meet him on a plane - dunno)
• Sam Shepherd (another oldie but goodie)
• Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty, and Ty again (oh yeah - had him before)

And there are lots of real life boys. But we cannot discuss them. That would make them semi-public fodder. And that cannot be...............

Panty Fetishes & Ass Week

Trix: Hey - I am gonna let you in on a preview of my next blog topic.
pattygal: ok - fire away!
Trix: ok --- first ya gotta know that __ has a thing for panties. plain white non thong nylon type panties. i get it.....not into it...but i get it.
pattygal: huh
Trix: school girl/what's under there/blahblahblah
pattygal: interesting. but i like that for some reason
Trix: i know!!! such a purist. ok - that's just a side note
Trix: so --- in vegas....taking a basquillion pics
pattygal: k
Trix: at the venetian....between the entrance to the building & the place where they give gondola rides...down by the water trying to get a good gondola pic. b is behind me
pattygal: k
Trix: and we've JUST been talking about how she and i have known each other long enough that we are good at seeing odd things...but SUBTLY pointing out to each other...and storing for 3 mintues from then when we can discuss out of earshot of the offending party. as opposed others -- who feels it is necessary to point it out to me and anyone in a 10 foot radius
Trix: so -- i hear a quite "trix" from b. and she points to the guy sitting on the stairs next to me....who i knew was there...but was paying no attention to. so - he is alone...sitting....kinda eurodorky looking...has his shoes off (???).... AND --- has a pink bag w/ tissue paper...and is taking out of it a pink lacy bra w/ some brown accents. and is STUDYING it. i mean decoding the damn thing. could only examine closer if he had a magnifying glass. not even noticing that there is another person less than a foot away from him.
pattygal: whoa!
Trix: so i get ready to walk away....and he pulls out the matching thong panties!!! and begins examining those! so --- we get inside the casino
Trix: b says - sorry to point that out...but if i wouldn't have....you would have missed it
trix says - oh and THANK YOU FOR THAT!....the only thing i'm pissed about??? that you didn't tell me to take a pic....cause i have the flash off and he wouldn't have known
b says - dammit! i was gonna....but i didn't know the flash part!!!
trix says - ok....that was beyond weird
then -- silence
trix says --- and.....who were they for?? HIM????
b says -- my question exactly
then - more silence......
trix says - i am gonna kick myself for the rest of my life that i didn't make a photo opportunity out of that
pattygal: now there is an exact reason to have a cell phone with camera. see i've often thought they were silly
Trix: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight -- 'i'm just dialing!'
pattygal: but much easier to take an incognito picture with
pattygal: RIGHT!
Trix: isn't that the weirdest though??? wouldn't you be a little grossed out if g did that?? even if they WERE for you?? it is not the fetish in and of itself that is weird. it is the execution of said fetish
pattygal: it is weird. reminds me of ass week in hawaii. first - there was a guy at the mall wearing normal looking khaki cargo pants. hanging a little low on the hips... to reveal a pink thong. he looked like a normal guy, someone who would shop at eddie bauer and viky's secret...THEN there was the guy taking a crap by the side of the road. a busy road. pants around his ankles, white paper in hand, at 8am while people are driving by to go to work. days later... a guy at 7-11 sitting on this bar/fence thing smiling wickedly. normal from the front... full ass showing from the back. getting a big ole kick out of people walking by. finally... in the park... a transient dude taking a nap under a tree. not unusual. except his pants were shredded and his full ass was on display... nicely tanned i might add. the week officially was deemed ASS WEEK in Hawaii
Trix: OH MY
pattygal: hehe quite a week!
Trix: talk about a blog topic!
pattygal: post the whole IM! ha!

Harder Than You Think - Until You Get Goin'

Pattygal & I got on a kick:

Things You Should Never Ever Even Consider

• Order steak at Denny's
• Touch the seat of a Johnny-On-The-Spot
• Go barefoot on Bourbon Street
• Have Jacko babysit your kids
• Pee on the New York subway tracks
• Let Don King cut your hair
• Ask Martha Stewart for some stock market tips
• Drink anything served to you in flames
• Order anything from the email with the subject line :v:i:a:g:r:a
• Hire Tammy Faye as a beauty consultant
• Purchase anything from a television ad after midnight
• Let Willie Nelson do your taxes
• Go to Monica Lewinsky's dry cleaner
• Ask Ozzie for an Advil

And finally, kids, the one that got it all started? From a real life example:

• Buy condoms off the Sale rack!!

Feel free to keep it going!...

Another One of Those Cheesy Cliches - Proven

Man - When they say it is the little things in life that count, THEY MEAN IT.

There is this chick two cubes down who has historically been known as mean. We didn't cross paths for many years and I always managed to stay on the good side. Until that one day.....I had had it...And we went head to head. Ever since? MEAN. And I mean MEAN. As in, go out of her way to be mean MEAN. As in, sometimes walk down the row the opposite and inconvinient way to avoid her meanness MEAN. As in, praying to god/buddha/allah or anyone else who will listen that I can find someone else to answer my question MEAN.

Because we are in close physical proximity, I do hear some of the details of her life. And her dad has very recently died. The funeral is this week. And, yeah, of course I feel bad. I'm not THAT big of a B. And her mom is having some issues that might be the big A on its way. And, yeah, of course I feel worse.

So I was walking down the row yesterday, and she was in her chair, on her cell phone, and in tears. I didn't stop walking, but reached out and put one finger on her shoulder. Yes, just one finger...not the whole hand...I had my phone in my hand...that's my excuse. Didn't say a word and just kept going. Didn't put much more thought into it.

So today? NICE. I mean NICE. As in, she has to ask me for something and requests it nicely and is nice when I ask how she'd like it delivered NICE. As in, she later says "Sorry - I forgot to say thank you." NICE.

One finger. That is it. So there ya go folks. Extend a finger more often! (NOT THAT ONE!)

I Do Miss Him

Today K asked me if I or Pattygal talk to Peez. And, alas, we do not. (Unless Pattygal has been withholding...Which I think not.)

And, I've not. Which makes me sad.

Peez was an integral part of my life at one point. THE integral part, I'd say. My person. He just was. He was IT. I wish i could illustrate to you...But I cannot.

Guess his wife did not agree so much. Nor his upcoming child support payments. Nor the separation from his child. (Which I really do empathize/sympathize/think I understand.) I get it...He had to...Kid won....Kid should.

But I DO miss. Miss BIG. And wish for that smile as I walk in the door, that "Hello, Pretty Girl!" when I get back from the hair salon, that random squeeze in the middle of the night...Those things that come with 'your person'.

I fear he was 'it'. And that my person has come and gone. I hope not. And I've not given in. But what if, at this age - My person is equally unavailable? That is SO likely.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahwhahwhah for me.

I'm so lucky to still have my life. And to be so independent. And to be available but looking. And to still be looking for what I want. And to still know that. And to not have the need for a baby (as much as I'd have loved one) skewing that.

So, Trix, look at that part. And be happy. Cause you are.

(Wow - I don't like re-reading this one. Pretty much past the epidermis. 'Scuse me as I grab some Kleenex...)

It WAS Him!!

I cannot believe I left this out of my Brushes With Greatness Post!!http://www.adventuresoftrixie.blogspot.com/2005/02/brushes-with-greatness.html

Somehow, B must have me convinced I really am crazy and I, therefore, block it. BUT IT WAS HIM....I swear...It was.

Here's how it goes:

I have a few annual trips. One is to Seattle around July 4. We stay at this awesome little boutique hotel called The Inn At The Market (http://www.innatthemarket.com/). Beautiful place with a roof view you would not believe. You sit on the green, green astroturf in a lovely white adirondack with a glass of wine and a book while overlooking Elliott Bay and Pike Place Market. Just lovely. (Pattygal - HELP! I cannot manage to post a freaking pic from Flickr!!)

So on this trip a few years back, just off the plane, just checked in...And we head up to the roof. Sit under the little bower, having wine and reading...And I glace to my left (B is between me and subject to come).

T - (Furtive whispers)...B....That's Eric Clapton. (Keep in mind he is my absolute favorite musician of all time and I would be happy to replace that child that fell out the window - Poor Eric.)
B - Noooooo...
T - It IS....It is Eric Clapton.
B - Nooooooooo...

T's Evidence - He's reading a Penguin Classic -- Eric would do that!! He's got on his signature John Lennon glasses. He's dressed in jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. And he has on those hip bowling shoes that only a metrosexual, homosexual, or Eric can pull off. And he has no chin.

B - Not him. He has no chin. (Still furtive whispers.)
T - But Eric has no chin! He really doesn't. Have you seen him without facial hair??
B - Not Eric.
T - It is Eric. It is Eric. It is Eric.
T - He has a boat he sails in Elliott Bay. I know it. It is him.
B - So go talk to him.
T - Are you KIDDING? I am WAY to cool to just approach Eric Clapton. I'll just bask in the fact that I saw him and didn't approach.
B - Whatever.....

A few minutes later, Eric gets up to leave...Pauses...Smiles and nods...And is on his way. In SUCH Eric fashion. Calm, cool (mostly cool), and collected.

IT WAS HIM!!! It was. It was. It was.

IT WAS. (Just let me believe it....B does....Sometimes.....)